Monday, March 22, 2010

Home Sweet Home!


I've lived in a big city before but I never worried about bugs or germs the way I obsess over them here. I don't know if I'm older so I'm just more in tune to it all or what but I'm fully obsessed. I've finally moved out of the hotel and into an apartment and I've got to say, it looks like a set of Law and Order. Not the fancy victims apartment but the slum who's being questioned. The pictures below really don't do it justice. I chose to live her for 4 reasons.

  1. Irene, my roommate is wonderful!
  2. It's the first floor of a walk up
  3. The evening I toured it was freezing and rainy and I couldn't meet anymore freaks.
  4. Irene, my roommate is wonderful!

I haven't actually seen a bug yet but I'm sure they are here. Let me be honest, I'm sleeping in a bed someone left here and I'm putting my clothes in storage drawers someone left here. There are air fresheners everywhere, cracks in the floor, stains on the walls. It's completely unkempt. If there AREN'T bugs, I'm going to be shocked. Irene informed me, no one cooks in the kitchen. Who would? It looks like a kitchen found in a prison cell, complete with a chipping, iron sink with caulk from 1965, linoleum tile from a serial killers bathroom, an oven that I'm certain roaches have nested in and when I go to bed they come out and feast and a dish towel from the 40s, never cleaned. Welcome home. Let me also ad, the door from the street to the building locks however the safety door right after the street door into the building does not lock. We don't have a safety intercom with lock buzzer, there is a dark and suspicious stairway leading down to no where right outside my door and the stairs going upstairs are narrow and slanting as though they may fall off the wall. Please, no visitors.

Below find some tips I've learned from research roaches and household bugs in New York City.

  • Putting steel wool in the cracks of the floor keeps roaches from coming in your apartment.
  • Spraying bleach on constantly wet surfaces keeps bugs from showing interest in the standing water.
  • Don't smash bugs with your shoes, if it's a female, her eggs may survive and hatch from the bottom of your shoe. {REALLY? Really.}
  • Roaches can live in your microwave, not in the cooking part but in the walls of it. Vomit.
  • "Sleep tight don't let the _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _!" New Yorkers NEVER finish this phrase

Pictures, for your viewing pleasure.

Warning: Pictures don't match description, you just have to trust me.


d
{Kitchen}
I know it looks cozy and cute, not in person though.


{Our Bathroom}
Where serial killers go to the bathroom and clean their hands.

{Looking into the Kitchen from the Living Room}
The dwellings of a serial killer but the potential to be so much more.

Directly Opposite of the first picture. This apartment def has
potential. Great high ceilings, exposed brick.




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